33rd Birthday

2021 has been the best year of my life. I feel endlessly fortunate, blessed and grateful that despite a horrific global pandemic, I have found growth, fulfillment, friendship, miracles, synchronicities and some of the most beautiful experiences of my life. Some of the highlights of 32 have been saving a life. Because of our coaching, Chanee chose to keep her baby and found a way to find reconciliation and support in her relationship. Lauren and Brooks were my first couple to sign on for an intensive retreat. Focused on their relationship I witnessed them, heal, transform and evolve together. I witnessed them have hard conversations about lack of self worth on both sides and see passed empathy and into each other’s souls. I witnessed the tears of remorse and tears of letting go of present day pain, knowing that everything in life, is going to be OK. 

I take a deep breathe just writing these things…

I think about the power that I’ve found within myself as a Healer, Coach, Leader and Friend. I think about the beautiful transformation I’ve witnessed in my clients. The long nights focusing on coaching and not even feeling like it’s work. I recall surfing some of the best waves and best sessions with such freedom, power and joy. I think about realizing that I AM magic, and giving away the In Pursuit of Magic Necklace that helped save my life in 2016.

I think about worlds coming together, it seems like I’m seeing the ones I love more and more. Worlds are overlapping. I feel my social sphere expanding with even more extraordinary humans that are beautiful. Some abroad and some domestic. Some where business partnerships or forming and some where there is just joy and laughter.

I think about the women that I’ve made love to. That I’ve dated, gotten to know, learn to love and let go of. Most of all in romance, I feel this new grounded man inside of me able to show up in radical authentic expression and feeling so proud of who he is and what he has to offer. 

I feel my intuition sharpening more and more every day. My sensory acuity to feel others deeply and help them see themselves deeper into their own soul than they ever have before. I think about my decision making becomes like a sharpened blade, knowing when to say Hell Yes or Hell No. 

I’ve spent more quality time with my parents in the last 12 months than I have in the last 10 years. It feels good to live with them again, even if they do get on my nerves sometimes. It feels good to see where the best qualities within me come from. It feels rewarding to see where I’ve wicked away some of the patterns that no longer serve me. The work has been done, now I get to witness how my automatic reactions used to be and now witness and feel the intentional response. 

I’m grateful that Otto’s life was saved this year by the doctors at UCLA. A year where so much emotional suffering and grief has befallen on so many around the world. And yet, my family, for the time being, has been spared. I reason that my desire to serve others in the highest way possible and to push to the edge and limit in my reach every day gives me reason and purpose. I feel a guardian’s clock around my neck, placed by the angels, spirits and ancestors above. I feel the universe has my back and is guiding me exactly in the right direction. 

I’m grateful that I have a clear mind. My mind is free from general discord most of the time. Inconsistency, incongruence, anxiety, indecision, confusion, fog, stagnation are all plagues that I know I’m never fully rid of, and yet it feels they are so absent that I rarely ever experience them anymore. I walk through life with clairvoyance, with bliss, light as a feather, in flow and harmony within and with all. 

I have friends that love me. And that I love back. With reciprocity of giving, sharing, supporting, serving and loving on one another unconditionally. It creates a magnetic force where people are drawn in and curious as to how we create that beautiful synergy. It is love. It is respect. It is honor and inspiration. I feel so full from dinner last night. Austin, Yaz, Sidd and Seema our 11:11 crew filled me up with love and Chinese food just as I arrived back in town from San Francisco. My stomach and heart are full! I’ve also reconnecting with old friends and made new friends around the world. People that teach me about relationship and just how valuable it is to the quality of our lives. 

I look at my left side of my body and see a beautiful masterpiece of artwork. A vision board of emblems, sacred geometry and mandalas that are rooted deep within the core of my being. They feel fluid on my body and people notice because it is an expression of who I am from the inside out. They don’t intellectually understand, but the energetically feel my presence and the depth of my character when they take it in. When I look at it, I feel complete in expression. I feel alive, I feel chills when I think about the meaning, the gifts that are tethered to the inspiration of selecting each piece. 

Financially I’ve created abundance through contribution and value creation in the world. I’ve hit goals I wasn’t sure I would hit. I’ve created a lift and rise in my wealth generation. I bought my first car and as it turns out, it’s my favorite car ever! I really like the stickers I chose. Again tattoos of the vehicle that express the joy and adventure I pursue when behind the wheel. 

I think it’s OK to say that I cannot imagine what will come next. I know I am heading in the right direction. I know I am making more progress than I ever have in my entire life. I know that my heart and soul feels full. My body feels nourished and that my life will only move forward as long as I am still breathing. I know that the impact I’ve begun to make in the world has only just begun. I know that there is so much more to accomplish, so much more. I know that there is so much more love to give into this world and thus so much more to receive. I know that my partner is out there in the world. I can feel her already. Whether she is near or far, whether our paths will cross tomorrow or cross years from now, I fully trust in divine timing. All that is meant to be will be. It has me in a place of calm excitement. Knowing is a beautiful thing. While I continue on this path, I look forward to creating things I’ve never created before. New retreats with groups. Digital programs that grant easy access to the tools that I’ve used to help me create this life I am living. To seek out more extraordinary individuals with big dreams and guide them on their journey to through self discovery and self actualization. I have to humbly remember that the time I’ve been given to work on myself, to learn, to expand, to study and to integrate is a gift. Not everyone has had that opportunity and that I have a moral and spiritual obligation to support others. To meet them where they are and guide them step by step, brick by brick, act by act. 

Today my friend Sean just booked his trip next week to Costa Rica. Inspired by my choice to move there, I laugh that he’ll get a chance to set foot in the dirt there before me. I’m happy for him and excited for me. The Pure Life culture is something that I’ve created in my inner world, and I’m excited to match the inner world with a surrounding that fits my outer world. There is something extraordinary coming near. Too far to see, and part of me wants it to be a surprise. Part of me wants to trust the arms that hold me from mother universe. There’s no need to be impatient, everything will be as it should. I feel endlessly grateful that Kenny has helped provide the validation and the opportunity to turn this dream into a reality. For that, I will forever be grateful. 

I can’t help but think back to recent memory in the mountain hot springs. Late in the evening, a night sky filled with stars and the Milky Way. The significance of all the energy that is around us,  eyes watching us with grace. A knowing in the universes eye, that has seen it all. That has witnessed the millions of years of loss, failure, hardship, Armageddon, and yet seen rebirth, transformation, evolution, creation and the light and life that prevails. Creating a knowing that everything in the end, will be well. I think about making love under this sky with a dear friend. On our journeys together and brought together just for a sacred exchange of progress, dreams and support. An opportunity to share beauty and love without expectation or commitment. Free, fully present and a beautiful exchange of giving and receiving. 

I like to imagine that we only know a small bit of just how much of an impact we have on others. One conversation, one insight, one memory and how that can shape the course of our lives. I think about this tattoo on my arm again, and how it wouldn’t have happened if I didn’t have the opportunity to meet my artist friend Chris. Who I was introduced to by a new friend Conor, who I met in a yoga studio in Sacramento. A city I lived in for only 4 months while I was on tour for Tony Robbins. And how I wouldn’t have gotten that job for Tony Robbins if it weren’t for an acquaintance I met at Tony’s seminar in 2016, and how I wouldn’t have gone to that seminar in 2016, if I didn’t meet Nicole, that night in San Francisco for another friends birthday where I was late and got the last seat available at the dinner table. And how I wouldn’t be at the dinner if I didn’t meet an incredible group of friends that was sparked by a beautiful soul that I met and briefly dated in 2011, who I wouldn’t have met randomly at a massive marathon in San Francisco called Bay to Breakers. And how I wouldn’t have been to bay to breakers if I didn’t have my dear best friend and brother Andrew who we’ve known each other for 18 years now and has been the rock and guiding light of my life. And how I wouldn’t have met him had I not been graced with being able to grow up in Palos Verdes where my parents decided to move when I was 4 years old… 

A tear forms in my eye as I think about the guiding hand that has allowed for each little moment in life to happen. To see the ripple effect that has taken place through the course of my entire life that has all lead me to exactly where I am. We truly are the sum of all of our life experience and people that we meet. Each moment matters. There are no coincidences and there are no accidents. There is reason for each moment, beyond present day comprehension. But in sacred time to pause this year of my 33rd birthday, how much grace I feel is overwhelming. A complete surrender to everything that has happened and that will happen. To this, my cup overflows and fills the world with gratitude. With love, with appreciation, with acceptance and with a sacred vow  to give as much as I have to offer in return. To those who have given to me and to those who are complete strangers. To those who I have yet to meet and to those who are about to enter my life. 

And there it is, my intention for 33 is to give. To give more, to serve more, to contribute more. The secret to living, is giving as my old mentor Tony would say. And I can say with a confidence, with a certainty, that based on the life i’ve lived this year, the more I focus on giving, from an unconditional place, the more joy I experience. Things tend to just work out, just in time. That reality is way better than fantasy. Visioning has been great for my direction, but reality has surprised me with the gifts of receiving in ways I could not have fathomed in my own mind’s eye. What a blessing it is to live. What a joy it is feel. What aliveness it is to embrace the full spectrum of human emotion and life experience. Aliveness is the desire and I feel more alive now than ever before.